wee grub

each week
i find myself
with less
and less
to say.
as the weeks
until the due date
are fewer and fewer
grub and i
try to absorb
the reality
of wee grub
making his/her
entrance into
our world.

as we listen
to our midwife
tell us the details
of birth
or
i go
to yoga sessions
and practice
exercises,
it's no more
real to us
then it was
a week ago
or a month ago.

we find ourselves
reminding
each other
of what changes
are to come.
for example,
the other day
as we sat
on the balcony
quietly eating
our
dinner
and chatting
as the sun set,
grub said,
soon we won't
have this quiet time
anymore.
almost more
to himself
than to me.

. . . . .

this week
we went to
a MEGA baby store
to look for
some sort
of bassinet
for by our bed.
we were overwhelmed
with how much
everything costs,
all the stuff
that
you are convinced
that
you need to buy,
and
all the parents
filling their carts
with all
these accessories
they hope will make
the transition
to parenthood
easier.
all i knew was
i wanted
out of there
as soon as possible.
after some debate
and
price-comparing
we settled on
the
stokke daybed:


i am a bit
embarrassed
since
i am painfully aware
that they market
this line
specifically
to people like
grub & i...
as shown in
this lovely advert
of mom working
on her mac
as she watches
the baby:


oh well.
i couldn't take
all the
pink and blue
anymore.
i had
to.
get.
out.
of.
there.

c'est tout.
xo


{outtake}