wee grub

i physically
have been through
a lot
these past few weeks...
staying up late,
carrying things
that were
probably too heavy,
and then
a long plane ride
and train trip
with
two 50lb suitcases
and
a super
heavy backpack.

i have
been worried
that wee grub
is okay in there.
i have thought
i felt him/her move
but
you are never quite
sure because it
could be something
you ate.
at times
it felt
like popcorn
or faint pops
inside my belly.
sometimes like
a bug was crawling
on my insides.
i wasn't sure.

i am a worrier.
so i worried.

last night
(in time for mother's day)
at 2am,
when i finally
got to bed
after a night
out at swiss karaoke,
the wee grub
was rocking around
and i could
actually feel
him/her
through my belly.
little bangs
on my abdomen.
it was very weird.
first time
i really felt
like something
was alive in there.
it made me
feel better.

tomorrow
my first appointment
in switzerland.
feeling anxious.

happy mother's day
all you moms!

xo